Out of Here.

Overpacked?  Probably.  Nervous?  Definitely.  Going?  Ready or not!

F.O.M.O.

-noun.  (family slang)

[foh-moh]

abbr. Fear of Missing Out

The condition or syndrome in which the sufferer is seized by dread at the prospect that something exciting, enjoyable, important, or simply unrepeatable (read; anything of interest at all) might happen in her or his absence.  This can lead to paralysis during a decision making process, decreased enjoyment of whatever the patient is actually doing (due to chronic worry or attention to distant events), or choosing to do things against one's own inclination to ensure nothing happens without the sufferer's knowledge (i.e. staying awake far past feeling wakeful and cheerful simply because others are still awake and talking).

I think of FOMO sort of like the common cold.  Sometimes it lingers like a cough that just won't leave: it saps the enjoyment of a choice long after the action is taken and it's too late to go back, leaving the sufferer with regrets or at least pangs of what might have been.  Sometimes a quick bout is all there is, like a sore throat that never really turns into anything worth staying home from school or work over.  In those cases, I find a momentary pause before a decision, but never look back once launching.  In many cases, I find myself caught in paralysis by analysis, gripped by FOMO, unwilling to make any choice for fear the other would have been better.  I manage to make the choice eventually (perhaps painfully slowly to many outside observers), and generally have no long lasting ill effects.

I used to think FOMO was a common disease that struck all people.  I supposed some people came down with FOMO more often than others, but pretty much everyone got hit with it on occasion.  While this may still be true, I definitely have a predisposition to it; whether of genetic or environmental origin I do not know.  In recent years I have encountered several friends who look at me blankly when I try to describe my symptoms. They say, "just do what you want to do," or, "whatever choice you make is the right one, because that's the one you live," or, "follow your heart."  Turns out, some people have immunity to FOMO.  Because for me, it's a matter of wanting to have both choices.  It's also a matter of wanting to make the right choice.  My heart becomes hard to follow because it is so eager to experience it all that it is stretching in all directions attempting to not miss a thing.

During the (long, long) process of applying for the Peace Corps and deciding whether it was a good mutual fit, I was seized by FOMO on and off.  Once I accepted my invitation to Guatemala, I definitely had a spell where I was so concerned with all that would happen in the US while I am gone that I had a hard time seeing the exciting things that I will get to experience while I'm gone.  Things that my friends in family in the US will miss out on (childish inner voice says, "so there!").  Now I am set to get on the plane to start my adventure a week from today.  I am still feeling a little torn; I will miss at least five weddings of close friends this fall.  But mainly, I am feeling like it's time to set sail.  

Once I get through all my packing and errands, that is.  *gulp*

One Question, Many Answers

I have been having variations on one conversation for some time now.  When a person discovers that I am going to Guatemala with the Peace Corps, I often end up getting the question, "Why are you going?"  I think I respond in many ways, depending on my state of mind at the time.  Here is a sampling:

Why are you going?

I aspire to be a World Citizen.  The more I can experience the world, the better I am able to try on new perspectives and lenses in order to see differently than might come naturally to a middle class white U.S. citizen.  

Why are you going?

I don't want to spend all of my 20s sitting behind a desk.  I've always loved being out of doors and this is a chance to do it for most of two years.  

Why are you going?


I'm not ready for grad school, but I'm ready for a change.

Why are you going?

Those of us in the U.S. often take for granted all that we have.  We may or may not pay attention to our leaders, to the actions our government and businesses take.  But those in the rest of the world pay attention.  What happens inside the U.S. disproportionally affects things outside the U.S. strictly because our country is  a political and economic heavy weight.  Is that changing?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But it's still my home, and sometimes the best way to understand where you come from is to go somewhere else for awhile.

Why are you going?

I want to be bilingual.  Or trilingual, for that matter.  

Why are you going?

Well, it's guaranteed to be an adventure... with no marriage and no mortgage, now's the time that makes sense.  (This is in no way to say that those of you with one or both of the two "m"'s listed above should be deterred from having adventures of your own.)

Why are you going?

Boy, that's sure the question that keeps me up at night.

Why are you going?

Because I strive to live a life of service and simplicity.  I feel I have been given many blessings in life and I might as well see whether I can share those in some way.  I want to give back somehow.  Yes, I can, should, and will do that here in the U.S... there is no need to go abroad to serve.  But the Peace Corps has three stated goals:

1. Helping the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.
2. Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served.
3. Helping promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.     (source)

...and I support those goals.  In our media age, there still isn't anything like actually knowing a person from a country to make you see it with a more human eye.  To realize that a country is more than its government; it is also its people.  Are there more efficient ways to cause development?  Is this the best model to lift people out of poverty?  Probably, and probably not.  But: 

"In 1961, President John F. Kennedy established the Peace Corps to promote world peace and friendship."  (source)

That's aiming for the stars, but it's also something I can get behind.  

Why are you going?

Ask me again in six months.  I bet I'll have discovered some new reasons by then.